pattaya127 Posted August 18, 2002 Report Share Posted August 18, 2002 I'm sure this was meant well, but it strikes me that this could come over as quite hurtful --------------------------------- I agree. she may see it under different lights, all not so good from her POV: trying to dump her fast, passing her on like a "thing", not much regret on his part, etc... With all the talk of face, we still under-estimate a BG has pride and feelings like a human being, not a rental tool. I know someone who passed on the number of a girl with whom he had special times but nothing involving. She was pretty pissed when the new guy told her how he got her #. Just to make me shine, i told him he should not do that, and I was right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 18, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 18, 2002 >And it makes me wonder how much you really love her if you can consider the idea of passing her on to someone else. My intention here was to underline she'll not have to work bar again. She took it as downgrade to a "daughter" status although, age wise, there is no such a difference. After the incident, I'm inclined to think she had her heart broken. The trouble here could be - they act so well that one hardly ever knows whether they really like him or not. It kind of backfired on her. I underestimated her affection here. Where are their "lub you too mutt" and other lies when you need them? Had she lied "properly" my and her problem now would not have existed to this extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
check_bin_krap Posted August 18, 2002 Report Share Posted August 18, 2002 Think_too_mut, as someone pointed out these problems are a part of a far distance relationship. If you don't get them, its not any love there and its not worth having. If you love this girl you should cheer up and try to fix things instead of making it a bigger issue than it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiLeakHunt Posted August 18, 2002 Report Share Posted August 18, 2002 "Tell her you're gay" she tells you she's a Katoey. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 "It became even worse when I said - well, if I can't be with you, I'll help you find somebody, maintain you in the environment where you can meet good people, even introduce you to some nice blokes of your age. " [color:purple] Bad move dude. You basically are passing her off like a second car you can't afford. That would be like telling your wife that you want a divorce but you will help her find a new husband or telling your mistress that you have to end the relationship but you will give her number to one of your office buddies who is looking for a mistress. In a nutshell you insulted her big time. My advice is to just tell her you have issues at home that will not allow you to continue a long distance relationship. You still care about her but you want her to be frre so that she doesn't miis other opportunities for more fulfilling relationships. By your committment to pay for her education she should understand that you are not just blowing her off. Breaking it off is tough in any realtionship Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 19, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 >Bad move dude. You basically are passing her off like a second car you can't afford. That would be like telling your wife that you want a divorce but you will help her find a new husband or telling your mistress that you have to end the relationship but you will give her number to one of your office buddies who is looking for a mistress. In a nutshell you insulted her big time. ....................................................................... Thanks for your advice but I don't think so. A farang woman would be in an independent financial position or at least will have access to far more facilities/oportunities. The stakes are higher here - she fears loss of 100% of her welfare. Something like removing those rings around the neck of a Padong. This is not like passing her # to a friend(s) while she is available in the bar every day. It is not only school that is being covered for her. She has to have time for it, live somewhere, eat, dress... Four days after the disapointment, she was near OK yesterday. Did not mention any insults or wrongdoing on my part, other than me not being there. One Sunday per quarter (it was yesterday), she has to wear a real school uniform and attend some big meeting at her high school. The only refference to my screw up was "Today you say you here to see me in my school uniform". S***, I may die for that sight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 19, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 >I know someone who passed on the number of a girl with whom he had special times but nothing involving. So do I. Not directly but from gf's talk. The guy passed her # not to one but to 5 friends. >She was pretty pissed when the new guy told her how he got her #. Pissed off - not exactly. Actually, he is the guy she tried to contact the other day. Maybe, passing on the # was not an insult in August last year when the season was slow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJsushi Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 Thanks for your advice but I don't think so. A farang woman would be in an independent financial position or at least will have access to far more facilities/oportunities. The stakes are higher here - she fears loss of 100% of her welfare. Something like removing those rings around the neck of a Padong. [color:purple] Our wires are crossed on this one because I am not looking at it as a financial situation, I would think the realtionship is based more on emotion rather than a balance sheet. I don't think a farang woman getting getting the boot by her boyfriend or husband is going to think "what about the money"(at least initially that is) nor will she appreciate you telling her what her options in suitors are. I am now confused by you response, is your relationship with this woman based on love or finances? I know the two can mix but what is the basis? One has to take precedent over the other. From your post it seems as if the girl is looking at the emotional aspects and not the financial as far as her reactions to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
think_too_mut Posted August 19, 2002 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 >. From your post it seems as if the girl is looking at the emotional aspects and not the financial as far as her reactions to you. Once the security layer (read: money) is in place, they can be more or less emotionally inolved. Maybe she is involved more than seen/read/expected. No security - what is she going to do? Probably can find 6-8K baht job but no money and time for school, must move back to a slum. Well, to live the way majority of Thais live anyway. It's not that hard, she came from a place much worse. Her calculation is - no time/money for school, it's a threadmill. That's my understanding on how money/school/emotions got intertwisted. Also, with same/similar money and school, she can live with realligned level of emotions towards somebody else. Harsh, but life for poor folks can be brutal in Thai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentors Posted August 19, 2002 Report Share Posted August 19, 2002 Stop it soon as possible. Maybe its hard for both of you but if you don't you will get in bigger troubles, believe Me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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