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Long Distance Relations


BelgianBoy

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Hi all,

 

About time I write some of my experiences in order to help some others here later on...

 

No doubt you all know the stories from Thalenoi, Think_too_mut, NY_traveler and others, let me tell you a bit how I cope with my relation at this moment.

 

I?m an old hand to Thailand, having been there 75 times over the last 22 years, can say that I have seen most of it and certainly done most of it as well.

Being bored with the nightlife and just being divorced as well, I went looking elsewhere.

 

I ?met? my GF, like so many others, on the net, in january of this year.

She is 25 years old, a Chula and Sydney graduate and holds a nice job in a bank that pays 28K Bt a month, not bad for a 25 yo, right ?

She is young, smart, witty, pretty and knows exactly what she wants.

 

We met on the net, the first few months we only e-mailed and exchanged photos, after 2-3 months we chatted like 1 to 2 times a week on ICQ, and only after 4 months I called her for the first time !!!

 

We then moved to a daily chat session, sometimes upto 3 hours non-stop !

On top of that, the SMS are flying all the way all day long as well.

 

I flew over in july to BKK, we met the first night, we had a drink and drowned in each others eyes :) :)

The second night we kissed, the next day we left together for 9 days to Phuket, just lemme say we did not leave the room the first 3 days except for food and rest :) :)

 

I came back in september for 10 days and in october for 15 days, in 4 weeks time I?ll be back in LOS for 3 full weeks, and I do plan to move to BKK hopefully by june/july 2003.

 

The last 2 months we switched to Webcam, and please believe me, it did change our relation greatly.

At least we see each other daily, and we both look forward to those times when we are together.

I highly recommend this to everybody, especially when the required hardware is readily available in most internetshops.

 

Long distance relations are never easy, but we are today so lucky with the evailable technologies that you can be together no matter where you are.

That greatly relieves the stress of being alone, the lonelyness, the emptyness, the sadness, the cold-hearted farang people.

 

Never forget that a Thai girl just hates to be alone and will never stay alone, they need friends & family around, they are not programmed to do something alone.

 

When you are away in farangland and she is left alone in LOS, make sure you can communicate with her, even if it is just a 3-minute phone call every 2 days, but make sure you are in contact !

 

Do try to be there as much as possible, we had a question from a member last month asking if his 2 years absence will affect his relation... What relation after 2 years ????

 

I wish lots of good luck to all who try or that are in a similar situation to mine.

 

Just my 2 eurocent contribution.

 

Cheers !

 

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Ooooohhh, man, what a post. Moistured my eyes.

 

I have a quite different experience. But the amount of love we both invested is comparable.

 

 

In January this year, she moved into my apartment in BKK.

With all of the courses she wanted, we made a sequence and timeframes.

 

She did them all, very successfully. And still doing more of it.

 

Remote relationship:

May cost you money, but the web cam is a very valuable source.

Since she learned touch-typing, there is no problem if the voice is not working.

 

Phone calls: 12000 (twelve thousand) minutes on calling cards, 1000 (thousand) hours on the web cam. I just have to be able to email my body there.

 

In short: If not physically present, be there as much as you can. Web cam, emails, postcards, parcels, whatever.

 

My SMS messages usually read "Connect?"

 

(I am watching her sleeping at the moment. She can see me, too)

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Great idea about the webcam. I talk to my GF every single day on the phone, usually several times, we email every day, and instant message each other a couple of times a week too... but the webcam would be even better...

 

One thing my GF does that I really like is she emails me pictures of her nearly every week so I can see her.. not the same as a webcam, but pretty nice considering the effort involved...

 

 

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Nice to hear that things are going well BB, I wish you the best of luck. I think you left out a very important point in your post though. Whats most important in these long distance relationships is a firm plan for the future. And that plan better be to end the long distance in the relationship. Without a plan like this which one is commited to and follows, it will most likely fail.

 

What works for some might not work for others. I kept a relationship with a Thai girl going for 1 year without meeting, by only communicating by letters. Not even one phone call during this time. If anything, the time apart made the relationship stronger. But we were commited to eachother and had that firm plan.

 

I am currently in a long distance relationship with my fiance from VietNam, she is moving here in 1 years time. Also a net meeting.

 

 

Cheers and good luck for the future.

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Guest lazyphil

<<I came back in september for 10 days and in october for 15 days, in 4 weeks time I?ll be back in LOS for 3 full weeks, and I do plan to move to BKK hopefully by june/july 2003>>

 

It all sounds pretty good to me. Twenty five year old uni lass:):) enjoy!! As if you need telling!!

 

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<<<Great idea about the webcam. I talk to my GF every single day on the phone, usually several times, we email every day, and instant message each other a couple of times a week too... but the webcam would be even better...

 

traveler_nyc,

 

Yes it works really great, and the thing is that it is rather cheap, camera + mike is abt 2000 Bt, software included, and rest you get from MSN or Yahoo, best to buy a headphone + mike to work best, that is abt 500 Bt.

All you pay is the internet, and hop you see each other live, and believe me, there is nothing better.

I got that from reading the postings from TTM :) :)

 

<<<I wish you the best of luck. I think you left out a very important point in your post though. Whats most important in these long distance relationships is a firm plan for the future. And that plan better be to end the long distance in the relationship. Without a plan like this which one is commited to and follows, it will most likely fail.

 

CBC,

 

Yep, indeed that goes without saying, you MUST have a definite future together, in LOS or in farangland in a VERY close future. Without that, just forget it !

Basically I was giving tips on how to survive and make the relation survive during the separation......

 

<<<It all sounds pretty good to me. Twenty five year old uni lass enjoy!! As if you need telling!!

Phil,

 

Euhhhhh ????? What would you want me to add to that ? :) :)

 

Cheers !

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Hi,

 

Happy for you. I believe that a long distance relationship can work depending on the 2 persons. I see a very strong commitment here.

 

My first love, I saw him only 4 times during our 16 mos. romance. It broke not because of the distance, it was becuase of other demands and my immaturity.

 

I can see you glow with love my BB, and good to see it, congrats!!!

 

Cheers! :D :D :D

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