Man at Work

I am dying to go back to Samui!!!!!!

OOPS Now the banners give me a choice between getting to know a Ladyboy and learning my new favorite language! I hate those decisions! MaW

After all those jokes here _ some were brilliant, some godd and some.... - the best one is todays banner above this threat: "learn biblical hebrew now!" Talking about targetgroup marketing! Lets make a poll: How many of you have enrolled by now? Nice day to y'all MaW

new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could > > hardly speak. > > > > After mass he asked the monsignor how he had > > done. > > > > The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting > > nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the > > water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a > > sip.' > > > > So next Sunday he took the monsignor's > > advice. > > > > At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a > > drink. > > > > He proceeded to talk up a storm. > > > > Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the > > following note on the door: > > > > 1) > > Sip the > > vodka, don't gulp. > > > > 2) > > There > > are 10 commandments, not 12. > > > > 3) > > There > > are 12 disciples, not 10. > > > > 4) > > Jesus > > was consecrated, not constipated. > > > > 5) > > Jacob > > wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. > > > > 6) > > We do > > not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. > > > > 7) > > The > > Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, > > Junior and the spook. > > > > 8) > > David > > slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of > > him. > > > > 9) > > When > > David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, > > don't say he was stoned off his ass. > > > > 10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big > > T.' > > > > 11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, > > 'Take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not > > say 'Eat me'. > > > > 12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the > > Cherry'. > > > > 13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: > > Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. > > > > 14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. > > Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. > > Taffy's.

Sick Leave I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy' he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so that the boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of good GOD are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.' Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office.... When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,'.. And where do you think you're going.... She said, 'I'm going home, too. You can't possibly expect me to work in the dark!

Not nice Flash :onfire: Thougt it was one of those usual pop-ups and tried to turn it off. Did not go away. Got worried. And Thaaaan realized it was part of your post. Should not play those games with us Krauts Nice Weekend to y'all :bangit:

What is this: It's hanging at the wall making a ticking noise and when it falls down, the garden door closes? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? A funny coincidence! Sorry MaW

What does a shaved girl and Obama have in common? . . . . . . . . . . . . They got rid of Bush?

I have heard them all - over and over again

An Escapee from San Quentin breaks into a home to get new clothes and maybe a weapon. While he his ransacking the house, he finds a beautiful young lady and her husband naked in bed. He ties the guy to a chair and than the gal to the bed. While doing the latter, he bends over and kisses the lady on her neck. After that he leaves into the bathroom. The husband whispers to the wife: "I can tell he is an escapee from prison by his clothes. He may not have had a lady for years and I guess he wants sex with you. I could tell by the way he kissed you on the neck. Whatever he wants, do it. I know this is horrible for you, but it is the only way we two get out of here alive. Stay strong honey â?? I love you." The wife replied: "He was not kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear that in fact he is gay and kind of likes you. He asked me if we had K2, and I told him, that we had some in the bathroom. Stay strong, I love you too!"

[color:red]Thanks![/color] [color:green]Finally understood this short and exciting Game![/color] [color:brown]MaW[/color]

I thought I destroyed that years ago! How did you get it? MaW :content:

Good one

Here is help! Just did not get that "Andy = And he" bit. Nice day MaW